I get it a little better now, I can’t have her. I can’t be in that situation anymore and maybe that’s okay. I speak of the past and the words seem to fail her as she lollygags with her response though its more methodical than that as she evades a proper response like a well trained politician. Shes bursting through the seams and I fully see that i’m just the leftover shrapnel pieces from her immediate departure. Though she still cares and its obvious as shes dedicated to speaking with me, but not as before. She can no longer shift these nouns to a verb in an instant as the magic is gone and maybe I understand that now. It hurts, but maybe i’m better for it.